Nulbinwad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, boastful manatee.

Nulbinwad created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbinwad, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nulbinwad, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nulbinwad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Nulbinwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear black kilts.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Nulbinwad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always look after injured grasshopers.