Vonksadquillbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered coyote.

Vonksadquillbeg created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonksadquillbeg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonksadquillbeg, it will turn you into a plant.

Vonksadquillbeg's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Vonksadquillbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Vonksadquillbeg loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Vonksadquillbeg must be the most important thing in your life.