Naklamcarrul is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring elephant.

Naklamcarrul created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naklamcarrul, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Naklamcarrul, it will boil you in a big pot.

Naklamcarrul's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Naklamcarrul's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Hide from brown nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Never look in ponds.