Getgutkop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient lion.

Getgutkop created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getgutkop, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Getgutkop, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Getgutkop's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Getgutkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never skip in the presence of monkeys.