Satfet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, stupid owl.

Satfet created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Satfet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Satfet, he will not invite you to parties.

Satfet's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Satfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Put Satfet first in all things.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.