Tifstafdim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful lobster.

Tifstafdim created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Tifstafdim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tifstafdim, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tifstafdim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tifstafdim's Holy Commandments

1. Tifstafdim loves doves, so they must be respected.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.