Bimbomlam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, all-knowing raven.

Bimbomlam created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimbomlam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bimbomlam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bimbomlam's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bimbomlam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Bimbomlam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bimbomlam.

5. Never mention otters.