Venfumbus is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid dryad.

Venfumbus created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Venfumbus, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Venfumbus, she will manifest in front of you.

Venfumbus' most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Venfumbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near seals while wearing cyan rings and balancing four gold spheres on your arms.

2. Venfumbus must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Venfumbus loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.