Zakbodbaf Butmilflag is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional rat.

Zakbodbaf Butmilflag created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakbodbaf Butmilflag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zakbodbaf Butmilflag, it will turn you into a rat.

Zakbodbaf Butmilflag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zakbodbaf Butmilflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six doves in a large pit.

2. Never wear violet jumpers.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.