Teengodgadgov is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish goose.

Teengodgadgov created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teengodgadgov, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Teengodgadgov, he will turn you into a rock.

Teengodgadgov's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Teengodgadgov's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Teengodgadgov in the centre of the settlement.