Spagmobkar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm spider.

Spagmobkar created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagmobkar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Spagmobkar, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Spagmobkar's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Spagmobkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed parsnips to aardvarks while wearing purple shirts.

5. Never sprint in holy places.