Yoknakbod is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omniscient coyote.

Yoknakbod created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Yoknakbod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yoknakbod, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yoknakbod's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Yoknakbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Yoknakbod loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help sick dogs.

5. Do not hurt snakes.