Wontiptad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, wise otter.

Wontiptad created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wontiptad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wontiptad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Wontiptad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Wontiptad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never wear white coats.

3. Wontiptad loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.