Goncussiszed is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, self-assured grasshopper.

Goncussiszed created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Goncussiszed, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Goncussiszed, it will not care.

Goncussiszed's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Goncussiszed's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always obey Goncussiszed's priests.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink alcohol.