Afyokmut is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, vain dryad.

Afyokmut created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afyokmut, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Afyokmut, he will torture you forever.

Afyokmut's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Afyokmut's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine eagles approach from the north.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

5. You must love Afyokmut.