Arpflaglab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind coyote.

Arpflaglab created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpflaglab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpflaglab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arpflaglab's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Arpflaglab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Worship no other gods but Arpflaglab.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.