Tarpmifyam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, dishonest chinchilla.

Tarpmifyam created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmifyam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpmifyam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tarpmifyam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tarpmifyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tarpmifyam.