Teenpitlat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective mouse.

Teenpitlat created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenpitlat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Teenpitlat, he will turn you into a rock.

Teenpitlat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Teenpitlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about doves.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not take Teenpitlat's name in vain.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about planets.