Lanfotlibpigtal is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered parrot.

Lanfotlibpigtal created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfotlibpigtal, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lanfotlibpigtal, he will manifest in front of you.

Lanfotlibpigtal's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lanfotlibpigtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.