Cetkomkim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, cheerful monkey.

Cetkomkim created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetkomkim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cetkomkim, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cetkomkim's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Cetkomkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Do not kill tortoises.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.