Pomkoprig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic tortoise.

Pomkoprig created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomkoprig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pomkoprig, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Pomkoprig's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Pomkoprig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not keep three squirrels in a large pit.

3. Always help whales in need.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Pomkoprig.

5. Never pour water over plants.