Kaddudyarpbed is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, sage crocodile.

Kaddudyarpbed created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaddudyarpbed, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kaddudyarpbed, it will turn you into a rock.

Kaddudyarpbed's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kaddudyarpbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if nine ants approach from the east.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.