Govfadteen Zengamran Nibquaghun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Govfadteen Zengamran Nibquaghun created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govfadteen Zengamran Nibquaghun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Govfadteen Zengamran Nibquaghun, it will turn you into a mole.

Govfadteen Zengamran Nibquaghun's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Govfadteen Zengamran Nibquaghun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of birds.

2. Do not keep five seals in a large pit.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Do not stand on grass.