Narlbonkzed is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciful otter.

Narlbonkzed created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlbonkzed, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Narlbonkzed, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Narlbonkzed's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Narlbonkzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight whales in a large pit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.