Butwotnell is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating hippopotamus.

Butwotnell created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butwotnell, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Butwotnell, she will turn you into a rock.

Butwotnell's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Butwotnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never skip near foxes.

4. Never feed coconuts to nematodes while wearing indigo stockings.

5. Never mention dogs.