Tafcudlak is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, tranquil dove.

Tafcudlak created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafcudlak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tafcudlak, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tafcudlak's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tafcudlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to goats while wearing mauve dresses.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Tafcudlak five times a day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.