Wigripvig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring unicorn.

Wigripvig created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigripvig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wigripvig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Wigripvig's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wigripvig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red bats for they are unholy.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about dark energy near nematodes while wearing pink rings and balancing nine lead spheres on your feet.

5. Never talk about fire.