Fumlamcan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome lizard.

Fumlamcan created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fumlamcan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumlamcan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fumlamcan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fumlamcan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Fumlamcan loves otters, so they must be respected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fumlamcan.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.