Lamcamsab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, tiresome owl.

Lamcamsab created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamcamsab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamcamsab, it will be very unhappy.

Lamcamsab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lamcamsab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Lamcamsab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.