Timyakfot is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless coyote.

Timyakfot created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timyakfot, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Timyakfot, he will turn you into a mole.

Timyakfot's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Timyakfot's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never hurt manatees.