Kaplanarnwodarm is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unselfish fish.

Kaplanarnwodarm created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaplanarnwodarm, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kaplanarnwodarm, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kaplanarnwodarm's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Kaplanarnwodarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.