Apphaspog is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, selfish rhinoceros.

Apphaspog created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Apphaspog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Apphaspog, it will laugh at you.

Apphaspog's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Apphaspog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Always help sick gulls.