Narlyogtim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, quiet tortoise.

Narlyogtim created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlyogtim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Narlyogtim, he will curse you with boils.

Narlyogtim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Narlyogtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not take Narlyogtim's name in vain.

5. Never eat green fruit.