Pakcemfly is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, amazing clam.

Pakcemfly created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakcemfly, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pakcemfly, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pakcemfly's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Pakcemfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the north.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Run away from white ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Always help cats.