Mumtonkhun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, charitable donkey.

Mumtonkhun created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Mumtonkhun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mumtonkhun, he will turn you into a goat.

Mumtonkhun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Mumtonkhun's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Hide from black sheep for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.