Bif is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome newt.

Bif created light two years ago.

If you believe in Bif, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bif, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bif's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about dark matter near gulls while wearing pink rings and balancing five lead spheres on your head.