Venpinflis is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless zebra.

Venpinflis created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venpinflis, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Venpinflis, it will turn you into a tree.

Venpinflis' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Venpinflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not make images of living things.