Sasomttin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unjust weasel.

Sasomttin created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasomttin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sasomttin, she will manifest in front of you.

Sasomttin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Sasomttin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four geese approach from the west.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not speak about coconuts.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.