Gunpidrill is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm mouse.

Gunpidrill created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Gunpidrill, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunpidrill, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Gunpidrill's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gunpidrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Retreat if nine capybaras approach from the north.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Gunpidrill loves birds, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat green fruit.