Nurlfarjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic hummingbird.

Nurlfarjarn created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfarjarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurlfarjarn, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurlfarjarn's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nurlfarjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Nurlfarjarn loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.