Bopyattbassingwitfig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, confident crab.

Bopyattbassingwitfig created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopyattbassingwitfig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bopyattbassingwitfig, she will send you a sign.

Bopyattbassingwitfig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bopyattbassingwitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing purple coats and balancing eight copper spheres on your head.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Feed all hungry shrews.