Dibhanlak is a god.

It takes the form of a large, slow armadillo.

Dibhanlak created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibhanlak, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dibhanlak, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dibhanlak's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Dibhanlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat cats with great respect.

2. Never sit near swans.

3. Always help sick turtles.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never feed corn to rats while wearing shorts.