Gomtigteenlap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain capybara.

Gomtigteenlap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomtigteenlap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomtigteenlap, he will destroy your home planet.

Gomtigteenlap's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gomtigteenlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near grasshopers while wearing gray rings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Do not chop down trees.