Hapgubmat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, kind faun.

Hapgubmat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Hapgubmat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hapgubmat, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hapgubmat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Hapgubmat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not take Hapgubmat's name in vain.

3. Never think ill of sick bats.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always look after injured dogs.