Yartfodgil is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, proud capybara.

Yartfodgil created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfodgil, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yartfodgil, she will come to you in dreams.

Yartfodgil's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Yartfodgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to tapirs while wearing yellow shoes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Run away from gray aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Never hop in holy places.