Panhinquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, passionate elephant.

Panhinquart created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Panhinquart, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Panhinquart, she will turn you into a rock.

Panhinquart's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Panhinquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Never feed wheat to mice while wearing white dresses.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.