Vedluntap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured squirrel.

Vedluntap created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedluntap, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vedluntap, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vedluntap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vedluntap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow seals, for they are unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about stars.