Witvilged is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate jellyfish.

Witvilged created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witvilged, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Witvilged, she will curse you with boils.

Witvilged's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Witvilged's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Witvilged.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Witvilged.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing red jumpers and balancing three silver spheres on your hands.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witvilged.