Lakcibneg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, happy turtle.

Lakcibneg created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakcibneg, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lakcibneg, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lakcibneg's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Lakcibneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Never hop in the presence of swans.

5. Never sit near mice.