Gadmeglapmisvag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind guinea pig.

Gadmeglapmisvag created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadmeglapmisvag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gadmeglapmisvag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gadmeglapmisvag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gadmeglapmisvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near rats while wearing magenta tights and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

4. You must pray to Gadmeglapmisvag nine times a day.

5. Never pour water over plants.