Timwodarp Kabxucnig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, deceitful whale.

Timwodarp Kabxucnig created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Timwodarp Kabxucnig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Timwodarp Kabxucnig, he will turn you into a duck.

Timwodarp Kabxucnig's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Timwodarp Kabxucnig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed strawberries to doves while wearing indigo shirts.

4. Timwodarp Kabxucnig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must never eat rice.